Film: Epic Movie

Director: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer

Cast: Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Jayma Mays, Faune A chambers, Jennifer Coolidge, Carmen Electra, Crispin Glover

Rating: 0.5/5

You undergo the tedious process of creating a blockbuster and there comes someone with a camera and a few actors with the aim of spoofing it, that too miserably. There have been umpteen number of films that have had us in splits, like the Scary Movie and Airplane Series. This film is a debacle of epic proportions.

Epic movie is a disastrous attempt at trying to get you to smile at the least, trying real hard to amalgamate characters from films like X men, Pirates of the Caribbean, Nacho Libre, Chrocnicles or Narnia and Charlie and the chocolate factory. The inane film centers on four grown-up orphans. Lucy (Jayma Mays), raised by the Louvre museum curator (Spoofing Da Vinci Code) and she runs away as an albino assassin, silas is after her. The other orphan, Edward (Kal Penn) is from the “libre” wrestling (Spoofing Nacho Libre), fending himself from getting thrashed. The third one, Susan (Faun A Chambers) is on her way to unite with her adopted parents, but turns to be a victim plagued by snakes on her plane (Spoofing Snakes on a Plane). The last of the four is a Mutant of the “X”-community (Spoofing X men), with the power to flutter his chicken wings. 

They unite as each one of them discovers a golden ticket in their respective bars of chocolate (Spoofing Charlie & the chocolate factory). They win a trip to visit the recognized chocolate factory, but this is far from the heaven they expected to be in. They find themselves running away from Willy, and hiding in the closet, discover the world of Gnarnia (Spoofing Narnia), where humans are forbidden. Soon it is their mission to defeat the White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge), with the help of Captain Jack Swallow, Aslo and Harry Potter.

To begin with, the story is non existent and rightfully so. Understandably it’s a spoof they are trying to create, but then the jokes seem missing. The movie is unbelievably one dimensional and tacky; sadly even that does not get any laughs. They try real hard by squeezing in the time to spoof Britney Spears, Ashton Kutcher and Samuel L Jackson, but no smiles whatsoever. This film seems like a calculative and cautious attempt at making a comedy, this is precisely why it does not work.

Also the direction, camerawork and editing is better left unspoken about, they are sorry. If you bother to look at the screen, you might even spot where the set ends and boom mikes floating above the characters (none of it was intentional). The lack of continuity in the film is another huge problem, beyond a point you begin questioning your motive of walking into the theatre and actually buying that ticket.

In this film the dialogues mean nothing, not that they were supposed to, but by virtue of being a movie with a larger story, they fall flat. The film does not even seem like a circus, with a million of characters, that one might just about enjoy. It seems as though the characters are introduced to make a point and quiz you if you know the film that is being spoofed. The vulgar jokes, filled in the film don’t even amuse the twisted minds watching the film.

Acting has never been so done with boredom; the characters for most parts of their role are seen hamming. They seem in desperation to get over with it. All of them, barring none provide an entertaining performance.

Don’t bother questioning its do at the Box office. This one is going to be no wonder, purely for the lack of marketing and zero praise it garnered all over, sadly that cannot be leveraged.

If you like being shocked, surprised and stunned, epic movie it is.