Film: My Bollywood Bride

Director: Rajiv Virani

Producer: Brad Listermann

Cast: Kashmeera Shah, Sanjay Suri, Jason Lewis, Ash Chandler, Gulshan Grover, Neha Dubey

Rating: 1.5/5

There have been far too many of these so called “crossover” films (God alone knows what that means), surprisingly every one of these films border around the same story.

The film encapsulates the whole of Bollywood in the hour and a half that it runs. Famous girl meets poor boy, good friend to the rescue of the famous girl, villian forces girl to marry, family ties. This film has everything there is to a Bollywood plot. That is precisely what makes it a ‘popcorn film.’

Reena (Kashmeera Shah), is India’s reigning Bollywood queen (yeah right!), who bumps into Alex (Jason Lewis) while in the states on a leisure trip. No words said, she return back home. Love struck, Alex follows her back to India only to discover her engagement to ‘Bad Man’, Shekar (Gulshan Grover) who makes things unfavourable to him ‘Vanish’ (That’s what he says through the film, it’s hysterical).

Discovering that Alex has followed her, Reena has him stay with Bobby K (Sanjay Suri), a close friend who also happens to be an upcoming star. With problems all around, the film ends with the lovers being victorious (including Sanjay Suri and Neha Dubey).

Now here is the thing, the idea of being a leading Bollywood star itself has you in splits. This script is no different from the done to death plot of rich girl loves poor boy or vice versa. The film is unbelievably animated that by the time it ends, you head is hurting and you need to rush to the closest pharmacy.

The problem is not with the concept but the execution. The audience is taken for granted with such an offering. The film is trodden with goofs, silly dialogues and awful editing.

This film takes the word cliché to a new level alltogether. The only minute or so of laughter you have is seeing Shah doing a take on Bollywood by portraying it to be a song and dance industry.

The production values are absolutely at an all time low. The editing is hilarious, it has everything from cross dissolves to split screens. Having said that, I must agree that the editor did what he could, with the footage the director gave him. The direction and camerawork borders on the line between average and below average. Shots most often are not framed well and have not been thought of from the audiences’ perspective of watching the film. The post-production, with adding the colour corrections and the works, is shoddy. The scene with Suri and Dubey in the car, the sky appears pink and you can almost see a glow around the stars (Is that a symbolism I missed?).

The placement of music with corresponding scenes, ideally meant to heighten the emotions, falls flat. The OST of the film sung by Shah herself is not the least bit musical or lyrical. However, it is peppy.

The dialogues are oh-so-stereotypical and can literally be translated to Hindi and still make the same film. The film at times has the essence of being shot in-sync and at times feels as though the characters dubbed their voices in the studio.

The actors, barring none have done a good job at playing their respective parts. Shah, on whom the film rides, has done a good job at emoting well, but then falls on her face while rendering the lines. She sounds as though she was reading word to word of the script sans any improvisation. Perhaps having the voice dubbed by someone else would have completed the package of a great performance. Ash Chandler who plays the rickshaw driver is not the least bit funny or comical, sole blame for this must be given to the scriptwriter who generated the lines. For whatever it was worth he gives a good performance.

Suri and Dubey do a good job with their parts, barring a few scenes where they look bored out of their wits and wanted to get it over with. You feel sorry for Grover, a man of high caliber is reduced to being the stereotypical bad man, for years he’s been playing the same character (someone please give him a challenging role). He obviously knows how to play the role to the T, and does so in this film.

This film has been treated with negligence, the product being an amateur and almost student like film (courtesy the person who wrote the dialogues).

No amount of marketing push can aid the film in doing a good business at the box office. Furthermore the decision to release it only in three cities (Pune, Mumbai and Ahmedabad) is not going to help it garner great returns either.

There is nothing novel that this film offers, it’s a stale story in a new package, and believing the audience is wise enough they are not going to fall for it.

Having said all that, this film is totally entertaining, something that you can thoroughly enjoy while munching on some food and sipping on that coke. This one is not worth catching at the multiplex, you are better off making a trip to the small screen theatre.